“An intense desire was born within me to know more about Shri Sai which grew almost to the point of pain. When in meditation, I would often imagine the posture in which Shri Sainath had been laid to rest. I would think about the last cloth He wore. Would He still be like that even today? Would it be possible somehow to see His body under the Samadhi? Would He resurrect Himself like Jesus Christ and appear before the world in flesh and blood? A sadness would descend over me. Only If I had been born when He was in his flesh and blood.
The search of Him was growing within my mind. I brought a photograph and started worshipping him daily. Earlier, I used to listen to a recital of Vishnu Sahasranam after leaving my bed as a morning ritual. It was now replaced by Sai Aarti. Gradually, Sai took over my existence. For months I remained in an ecstatic mental plane. No one knew of the storm raging within me, not even my family members.”